For real: I swear A LOT

This isn’t a post about my recent adventure to Chi-Town. I’ve been way fucking busy to upload pictures and go through them. I’m hoping to have a few hours this weekend to accomplish that.

But yes, Chicago needs to have its own post.

But this one isn’t it.

 

It took me all of .326598 seconds to realize after I read this BuzzFeed article, I needed to do my own post about it: 21 things all sweary girls are tired of hearing

Bet your fucking ass I drop swear words. I often use them to fluff up my vocabulary when I’m 1) dealing with idiots, 2) driving, 3) yelling at Midge to not be such an intolerable bitch, or 4) in large-large crowds (Picture Mandan on the 4th of July celebrations walking through the heat from Satan’s asscrack at Art-In-The-Park… yeah, you know what I mean.)

Aside from those instances, I often use them when I can’t think of a better word. Example given:
“Get that piece of shit out of here!”
“You’re a real fucking cock wagon.”
“That one fucking thingy, you know what I’m talking about!”

The versatility of swear words is unending. It’s nice that swear words can be used interchangeable from a noun to verb. For example:
“What a fuck!”
“You’re fucking with me!”
“You’re up shit creek today and without a paddle.”

Now, there are some guidelines when it comes to swear words. Foxy Wine Pocket is also a blogger who describes this to a T. Read it here.

My tips for swear words are as follows:
1. Don’t curse in front of your grandmother. Unless, your grandmother is known for dropping a few fucks or shits every now and then. When in doubt, take notice on the types of swear words Graham Cracker throws down.
2. Don’t curse in an interview. This is just common sense.
3. Always remember that people are a bunch of fucking twats and become offended over everything, so be mindful that you might piss a fucker off. Oh well, right?

Consider peppering a few “fucks” or “shits” in your conversations throughout the day. Feel free to get creative, consider “fucking twat bag” or an all-time favorite “ass-bitch”. Let your creative fucking juices flow, you fucking beautiful mother fuckers! ;)

Oh and check out this photo of me:
Future Me

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